Stop Pitying Yourself

The title to today’s blog post is harsh. I know. It is a message to people like me; people who are “fat”. I say this only to help you.

Two years ago, a dear friend of mine from Detroit, made me realize that I had to stop pitying myself. I was very insecure due to how my body looked. I blamed my friends who were all skinny, that they were the reason to my insecurities because they were confident in their skin. My friend made me realize that the problem I had was my problem and that if I wanted to feel better about myself, I had some work to do.

After my realization, I started a diet which I have somewhat upheld for the past two years. I stopped drinking soft drinks (they really really are horrible for your health), pasta, potatoes, butter, bread, pastries, cake, hamburgers and hotdogs. I tried to cut out cheese and pizza but failed. I simply reduced the amount of cheese and pizza that I ate. I have a seriously horrible addiction to chocolate so I opted for only eating dark chocolate (the least fattening chocolate of them all) which I used to hate yet today, I really love.

Throughout these two years, my diet has had its moments where my cravings kicked in (especially during Christmastime and exams) but I eventually always found my way back. It is hard not eating certain foods and I admit, sometimes my will power failed.

What did I eat for my diet? I ate salads, cousous, chicken, lots of fruit, yogurt and cereals, amongst other alternatives. (Note: Not everyone is strong enough to cut out certain foods. It is ok to not cut out certain foods completely and simply reducing the amount. It is ok that sometimes you fall back to completely eating these foods. Always keep in mind your goal, thus when you fall, you get right back up.)

I did not go to the gym for most of my diet. As a matter of fact, I only started going to a gym since last June. During the summer, I went to the gym about four times a week. I felt that the gym was a place of relaxation where I could push my body over its limits. No pain, no gain. One should enjoy pain because it is the sign of improvement. With university now, I try to find time for the gym. I go to the gym to try to turn my fat into muscle and that way of thinking encourages me to go even though sometimes, I don’t feel like it. (Note: if you are not comfortable with going to the gym, go to the gym. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone because no work gets done from your comfort zone.)

All my life, I have been surrounded by people who are skinny. I was always the biggest one from my group. Being short too doesn’t help. Of course, I was insecure. For those out there that are currently going through what I went through for most of my life up until two years ago, my only advice to you is to either accept yourself and be happy or work on your body. Both actions will lead to the end result of being happy with yourself. The choice is yours, but make sure you choose the right choice and don’t give up. Most importantly, choose the choice that you actually believe in. Change is hard but if you want to achieve something, you need to work for it.

Two years later and 15 kilos less, I am more confident, less insecure and accepting of my body. I know that my body still needs some work, but I am content with my current shape. I still want to work on it and am excited to do so.

Dark thoughts creep into my mind still. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror and feel disgust and despair. There will be those moments. However, to overcome those moments, you need to believe you can and you will. One can accomplish anything if they have the right mindset. It all depends on how you consider things.

I believe all people are beautiful. I do not look at a person and decide if their physical appearance is beautiful; I simply observe their character and then consider whether their behavior is beautiful. Beauty can lie in everyone if only they accept being beautiful themselves. Then again, beauty is perceived differently in each and every person’s mind.

What I can conclude from my rant, is that I believe we should all work towards accepting our bodies. We have this one wild and precious life. Let’s not waste it on destroying each other. Instead, we should empower each other to achieve happiness, a happiness we can all share.

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