As a writer, I have experienced many writer’s blocks. What’s weird is that up until this summer, I was experiencing a reader’s block. I had never experienced this before in my life and I didn’t think this could really exist.
Last year studying at University of Malta was a tough one. My course requires a lot of reading which is why I did not have a lot of time to read books for pleasure. I probably only read three books last year which really is not a lot for me. I thought that at first it was me; I did not want to read because I was more into social media and going out. However, I reflected on my actions this summer and the reason why I spent my time on Netflix instead of reading was because I could not read.
I study English at the University of Malta, and even though the course is all literature-based, our lecturers do not encourage us to appreciate literature. They simply want us to become scholars, like those at Oxford or Cambridge. Those scholars became what they are with time, yet our lecturers think we can suddenly become that. The mind develops little by little, and it needs guidance, guidance that our lecturers barely give us. They expect us to read these scholarly works and just “get it”, that we suddenly become scholars and philosophers, but our brains have not developed yet.
I tried to read this summer, however I was not settled on a particular genre to focus on. I needed something that I could connect with. So far in my life, I have read a lot of fantasy and dystopian novels. I needed something fresh.
Before moving to Michigan, I started reading To Kill a Mockingbird which is a well-renowned modern American classic. It intrigued me and I loved it. It felt good to read again. I felt like my old-self. My brain was working again. The University of Malta did not help me make my brain think; on the contrary, our lecturers made me feel stupid because they left us to do all the work without showing us how to study and work.
This makes me doubt whether studying at the University of Malta is worth it. They’re killing students because they aren’t making us think and appreciate a work of literature. Our English lecturers were constantly degrading our sixth form education during our first two weeks of university last year. However, I never felt so much at one with literature, art and history as I did at sixth form. Maybe it was because I had really good teachers, however I felt that our lectures at sixth form were not lectures but discussions and they were mind-opening. I did not feel that my brain was in that state of renaissance at the University of Malta as it was at sixth form. The University of Malta was killing a student.
What I love about Oakland University is that I get to do so much reading. I feel like I am reborn here because I am using the skills I learned at sixth form again. Our professors encourage us to think and appreciate works of art. Sometimes, the amount of reading I have is overwhelming but I love the majority of whatever novel, play or short story that I have to read.
Unfortunately, I cannot stay at Oakland University. I wish I could, but this girl can’t afford it. I’m so grateful that I am studying at Oakland for at least a short amount of time because I now know what it is feels like to actual study and analyze a work of art at university level. The University of Malta cannot kill a student anymore. I’m now better than that. I understand now.
My decision to finish my bachelors degree at the University of Malta was due to the fact that it would get me closer to New York City. That is all I want in life. Just another three years and my plan will be complete. I will finally achieve the one thing I have been working so hard for. I’m almost there. It’s overwhelming. Nothing can kill this student now.