Saying goodbye is not easy. I have met incredible people here in Michigan. They are all unique and wonderful and I am going to miss them dearly. I am so grateful that I met these people. They have been good to me beyond measure. Thank God I had them. My experience here would not have been the same. They made me happy and we had great times. I cherish the time I spent with these incredible people. They know who they are.
Four months have flown by. I have pictured myself at the airport so many times and it would really make me sad. I don’t like goodbyes. But here I am, alone again. I was alone at the airport in Malta and again, I am alone.
Michigan, we had some good times. I’m not going to forget them. The people and the memories. I may be far away on the little island in the middle of nowhere and I don’t intend to head back to Michigan for a good few years, but the people I’ve met know they can always reach out to me. They know I’ll always be there for them.
Michigan, you have been so good to me. There were moments of great frustration but they were part of the journey. They were necessary. It was all worth it. I learned so many things here. I didn’t think I was going to. I realized that I am not a suburbs person. I realized how much I needed to pause and just relax. I am usually so busy that I don’t have time to really reflect on things. I realized that I needed to be at peace with myself and I am now. I realized that a break from partying and alcohol is good for a while. I realized that I need to take my time and not always rush. I realized that I need to seek help when I need it. I never used to ask people for any sort of help. I realized that it is ok to be vulnerable sometimes. I realized that it takes time to transition to somewhere new. I realized how much I desperately want to settle in the city.
Most importantly, I realized that sometimes you think you know yourself so well that there’s nothing new to discover, but gosh, there always is. A quote at the Faculty of Media and Knowledge Sciences at the University of Malta that I hold close to heart is; “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known”. I strongly believe that all of our past selves are different versions of ourselves. It is as if we are constantly upgrading with time. Therefore, there’s a version of ourselves waiting to be discovered.
Michigan has been an upgrade. I have changed. At first I was overwhelmed by this change because I was not expecting it however I realized that this change is good for me. It is good to upgrade yourself because if you put yourself in a box and not allow yourself to grow, you’re just going to be in denial. Change is inevitable. Thus, embrace it. Realize it. Upgrade yourself.
Finally, Michigan, you have given me independence. It feels so good to live alone. You’re your boss. Even though I couldn’t drive around the suburbs, I still loved being independent in my every day life. I bought myself whatever I wanted. I ate whatever I wanted to eat (even though I felt bad afterwards). I did not have nagging parents around. I dressed like however I felt without giving a damn about what other people thought. Malta, please start progressing on this. I got tattoos which made me feel empowered. I had my own room which I designed myself. I had my own pillow and my own blanket that I provided for myself. Just simple things that made me feel independent.
For my 20th birthday, I went to a pottery shop in which I designed for myself a tile with the American flag on it and the number 20 in black paint. I look at it now and I feel it, that feeling of being 20 and being in America. America has so many laws and taxes and its expensive, but gosh it is independent. If you don’t like your life, change it. Save up money and make it work. Michigan made me realize that. I knew it before but I never understood how easy it could be. I changed my life because I simply wanted to and I intend to continue doing so.
I really got used to Michigan even though there were some aspects of it that aren’t like my regular life in Malta. I got used to not going out on the weekends which is a lot for me because I go out every weekend. Even during the week! I got used to always being on campus and I was fine with it. It’s going to be weird going out often again. Michigan, even though this chapter in my life is over, you’ll always be with me. Thank you for everything. The ending is not important, the journey is.
Michigan, have a goo’ one!
NOW, back to working hard, making money… and ENGLAND see you soon!