Happy Sunday, my fellow readers! I must say, I am VERY surprised at the amount of views last week’s post got. Thank you for your incredible response! Again, I was not expecting that many views but hey, the heart wants what it wants. It’s interesting to see what you guys are interested to see on my blog. Of all the subjects in the world, I guess it’s dating. Well this blog post is going to be a follow up of last week’s post. So keep reading 😉
Of course, everyone wants to be happy. That is the point of our existence. And most people think that to be happy you need to be with someone in a relationship which is understandable. No one wants to be alone. We are human and we need interaction with the outside world.
As you’ve probably noticed, my friends and I occasionally have very deep discussions on a wide variety of subjects. And this week, we talked about relationships.
A relation, as my friend put it, is when two people meet physically. It shows that you know the person. She further stated that simply knowing someone through social media doesn’t mean you actually know them. Social media is all virtual and virtual isn’t real. It’s all 1s and 0s – a computerized code. And she has a point.
However, even if you do manage to be in a wonderful and fulfilling relationship, the honest, and somewhat ugly, truth is that the only person you are truly going to live with for the rest of your life is yourself. Some people might not understand this completely. You’re probably thinking, well, I cannot have a relationship with myself. However, isn’t loving yourself a relation with yourself?
Furthermore, if you don’t love yourself, how can you be in a relationship? Wanting to be in a relationship only means you want someone to love you because you cannot fulfil the love that you deserve. You won’t fully feel loved from that person because you would not believe that the other person loves you. The missing piece is loving yourself.
I think that loving yourself is one of the hardest things in the world, especially if you’re hard on yourself. You end up creating a harsh environment for yourself and that’s not fun. The question I raise is: why do we do this to ourselves? I think that life is tough on us yet we’re tougher on ourselves. When you have high expectations of yourself, you can’t settle for good enough or adequate.
I can say for myself that I am tough on myself. Even though I’ve got a number one tattoo, I most certainly don’t love myself fully. My tattoo means: I am number one for myself. I am the most important person in my life and I need to take care of myself. I am proud of who I am because of the process that led me to be who I am today. I know that I’ve still got a lot to experience in life and that time will shape me to continue in this process of life. I have accepted who I am yet it still doesn’t mean I love myself fully. There’s a difference.
Other than giving yourself a break, there are ways to love yourself. Try to work on being happy with your personality and your body. Everyone has flaws and we should accept them. Where you might need improvement, work on yourself. When it comes to personality traits you need to work on such as self-esteem, try to put yourself out there more. Confidence is attractive! Real confidence in yourself will show the world you love yourself and that is beauty. And if you need to work on loving your body, look in the mirror. You can decide to either love your body as it is or love your body and improve it. The choice is yours.
Loving yourself can also be applied when it comes to online conversations with people you might’ve not met before therefore you don’t actually have a relation to. Try not to obsess over social media conversations by being objective therefore not form virtual connections that do not exist. Instead, try to meet the other person and get to know them. This is a way to put yourself out there more and shine even in the simplest of ways. For example, a simple way of having a positive attitude about yourself is smiling! But an actual genuine smile.
If you need to be loved, then show the other person who you are and not an image of yourself so that they can love you fully for who you are. By projecting the real you, you are practicing what it means to love yourself. You are letting yourself be yourself with not only other people, but also yourself. Read that again.
A lot of people end up being in relationships with people who they do not really like but simply want to be in a relationship so as not to be lonely. They do not think that they can get any better relationships because they think that is what they deserve. You are so important and deserve to be with someone who loves you fully. And you deserve your own love too! No relationship is perfect – not even the one you have with yourself – but you can strive to find the best match for you as well as be the best match you can be for yourself.
Putting this into practice isn’t easy. This is a state of mind which you can only come to after your own personal experience in due time. Most importantly, surround your love, happiness and progress around the central idea that you are doing this is for yourself and no one else.
Therefore, creating a relation with another is more than 1s and 0s. It’s connection. The same can be applied to yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself. Spoil yourself. You’ve got yourself until your very last breath.